funniest thing you've heard lately? - Page 5

CRA23 · 12-08-2003, 05:38 PM

Story with a moral
> > >
> > > I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for
> > > over a year, so we decided to get married. My
> > > parents helped us in every way. My friends
> > > encouraged me, and my girlfriend? - she was a dream!
> > > There was only one thing bothering me - very much
> > > indeed .That one thing was her younger sister. My
> > > prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age,
> > > wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She
> > > would regularly bend down when quite near me and I
> > > got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to
> > > be deliberate. She never did it when she was near
> > > anyone else.
> > >
> > > One day little sister called and asked me to come
> > > over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone
> > > when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was
> > > to be married, and she had feelings and desires for
> > > me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want
> > > to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make
> > > love to me just once before I got married and
> > > committed my life to her sister. I was in total
> > > shock and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going
> > > upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead
> > > with it just come up and get me'.
> > >
> > > I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched
> > > her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she
> > > pulled down her panties and threw them down the
> > > stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then
> > > turned and went straight to the front door. I opened
> > > the door and stepped out of the house. I walked
> > > straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was
> > > standing outside.
> > >
> > > With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, 'We
> > > are
> > > very happy that you have passed our little test. We
> > > couldn't ask for better man for our daughter.
> > > Welcome to the family'.
> > >
> > > The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms
> > > in your car.

sik astina · 13-08-2003, 08:33 AM

haha i like that one :lol:

Cosmo Dude · 13-08-2003, 08:36 PM

> > > > > >Couldn't you have
> > > > ? >removed the CC
> > ! > > >bits to make the
> > > > & >joke understandable?

Rod

KittyKatSmack · 13-08-2003, 09:44 PM

That's just laziness, when ppl don't take out the >>>>>> bits....

Bad email ettiquette......

poo poo!

MrShadow · 14-08-2003, 05:24 PM

It's also been done before on these boards, except is was his prospective mother-in-law. I like this one better though, I can more easily visualise ... ahem...

A very bruised Mr Shadow, signing off for more nui work :x :x

mrpayner · 14-08-2003, 08:20 PM

Thought this one would rate a mention.. :lol: :lol:

Very good indeed

AP

Cosmo Dude · 14-08-2003, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrPayner

Thought this one would rate a mention.. :lol: :lol:

Very good indeed

AP

nuf said

Where was that a fiew weeks ago?

Rod

bmk · 14-08-2003, 10:17 PM

JynX · 14-08-2003, 10:33 PM

KittyKatSmack · 15-08-2003, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrPayner

Thought this one would rate a mention.. :lol: :lol:

Very good indeed

AP

I have that one up at work, right under where the boss leans over the partition when she talks to me....
When I'm at work that is.....

:twisted:

KittyKatSmack · 15-08-2003, 02:27 PM

Here's something for ya's all to try....

Post yer answers of course!

:wink:

Are you a geek?
http://www.innergeek.us/geek.html

KittyKatSmack · 15-08-2003, 02:47 PM

Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. Seuss.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted
at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon
puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't
hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is
connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to
another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons
in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and
go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro
code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll ! have to flash
the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the
computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?

Rupewrecht · 15-08-2003, 03:06 PM

ranks from least to worst:

* Geekish Tendencies
* Geek
* Total Geek
* Major Geek
* Super Geek
* Extreme Geek
* Geek God
* Dysfunctional Geek

and i am 22.48521% - geek

what about YOU, kitty?

KittyKatSmack · 15-08-2003, 03:16 PM

That was the weird part, I got 6.2somthing or other and it called me a POSER which isn't even on the list....

hmmmpf!

poser my ass!

stick it's questions up it's bum!

*grumbles*

:wink:

KittyKatSmack · 15-08-2003, 03:22 PM

I just did test again...... to check!

5.71992% - Poser

It friggin cheats!!!!!!!

ABC · 15-08-2003, 03:29 PM

19.32939% for me! - Geek.

At least I'm not as geekie as Dan!

Sandyman · 15-08-2003, 05:07 PM

15.77909% - Geek

i think that the LAN party option boosted my score a little.

Andy, don't worry. He's been to that technical design school thingo(redefine for me here Dan). Plus he built a webpage in flash...(on that note, you nicked the software from work i am thinking Dan?)

name 5 star trek characters!

Rupewrecht · 15-08-2003, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandyman

He's been to that technical design school thingo(redefine for me here Dan). Plus he built a webpage in flash...(on that note, you nicked the software from work i am thinking Dan?)

name 5 star trek characters!

i went to TAFE and did an Associate Diploma of Graphic Art!
and of course i didn't nick the software... :roll: :P

oh, and Janeway, Chicote, Data, Picard and Seven of Nine :P

mrpayner · 15-08-2003, 06:36 PM

I think taking the test is a sure bet to geekiness... I scored 7.69231% - Poser anyway.. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a geek! Yay for me!

AP

SehnKhan · 15-08-2003, 06:56 PM

Popular belief is a powerful thing :P

12-08-2003, 05:38 PM	#81
CRA23 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Gold Coast, QLD Car: a helichopter Posts: 801 View Photos By: CRA23	Story with a moral > > > > > > I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for > > > over a year, so we decided to get married. My > > > parents helped us in every way. My friends > > > encouraged me, and my girlfriend? - she was a dream! > > > There was only one thing bothering me - very much > > > indeed .That one thing was her younger sister. My > > > prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, > > > wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She > > > would regularly bend down when quite near me and I > > > got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to > > > be deliberate. She never did it when she was near > > > anyone else. > > > > > > One day little sister called and asked me to come > > > over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone > > > when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was > > > to be married, and she had feelings and desires for > > > me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want > > > to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make > > > love to me just once before I got married and > > > committed my life to her sister. I was in total > > > shock and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going > > > upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead > > > with it just come up and get me'. > > > > > > I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched > > > her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she > > > pulled down her panties and threw them down the > > > stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then > > > turned and went straight to the front door. I opened > > > the door and stepped out of the house. I walked > > > straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was > > > standing outside. > > > > > > With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, 'We > > > are > > > very happy that you have passed our little test. We > > > couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. > > > Welcome to the family'. > > > > > > The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms > > > in your car. __________________ Corners are just that much more fun with coilovers......

13-08-2003, 08:33 AM	#82
sik astina Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Wollongong , N.S.W , Australia Car: Ba 1.8L Turbo astina Posts: 1,739 View Photos By: sik astina	haha i like that one :lol: __________________ [UNL35H] CANDY BA 1.8L Turbo - with the Twotone spread with the loco paint 2sus custom resprays

13-08-2003, 08:36 PM	#83
Cosmo Dude コスモ Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Location: Vic Car: Mazda '95 Astina I4, '86 B2K and '10 3 MZR-CD Posts: 7,888 View Photos By: Cosmo Dude	> > > > > >Couldn't you have > > > > ? >removed the CC > > ! > > >bits to make the > > > > & >joke understandable? Rod __________________ My 'stina Hatch

14-08-2003, 05:24 PM	#85
MrShadow Senior Time-waster Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Airborne somewhere in Aus... Car: 2005 SP23 Hatch Posts: 1,779 View Photos By: MrShadow	It's also been done before on these boards, except is was his prospective mother-in-law. I like this one better though, I can more easily visualise ... ahem... A very bruised Mr Shadow, signing off for more nui work :x :x __________________ Gimme a caffeine drip and I'll be right.... Confuscias say "man who go to sleep with itchy bottom, wake up with smelly finger"

14-08-2003, 08:20 PM	#86
mrpayner Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: -37.561609, 143.854814 Car: 2013 Mazda 6 GT Sedan - Soul Red Posts: 3,517 View Photos By: mrpayner	Thought this one would rate a mention.. :lol: :lol: Very good indeed AP __________________ 2013 Mazda6 Diesel GT ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[Formerly] 2004 Mazda6 Luxury Sport

13-08-2003, 09:44 PM	#84
KittyKatSmack Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Australia Car: Mazda Posts: 3,961	That's just laziness, when ppl don't take out the >>>>>> bits.... Bad email ettiquette...... poo poo!

14-08-2003, 10:17 PM	#88
bmk Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sydney Posts: 55	__________________ 1996 Astina Hatchback 1.8L

14-08-2003, 10:33 PM	#89
JynX Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Sydney Posts: 1,767	__________________ JynX 1994 Turbo BA Astina 200whp @ 12psi "If you cant drive fast with 90hp..... 900hp wont help you"

15-08-2003, 02:27 PM	#91
KittyKatSmack Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Australia Car: Mazda Posts: 3,961	Here's something for ya's all to try.... Post yer answers of course! :wink: Are you a geek? http://www.innergeek.us/geek.html

15-08-2003, 02:47 PM	#92
KittyKatSmack Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Australia Car: Mazda Posts: 3,961	Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. Seuss. If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash! If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall. And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang. When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll ! have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom! Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?

15-08-2003, 03:06 PM	#93
Rupewrecht Administrator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: melb.vic.au Car: AZ-1, Astina Hardtop Turbo, BJ Protege, Beetle Posts: 16,525 View Photos By: Rupewrecht	ranks from least to worst: * Geekish Tendencies * Geek * Total Geek * Major Geek * Super Geek * Extreme Geek * Geek God * Dysfunctional Geek and i am 22.48521% - geek what about YOU, kitty? __________________ jdmparts.rupewrecht.com Sourcing your not-quite-overnight parts from Japan WRECHT--\|--SLOWTEGE--\|--BEETLE--\|--SUBSTITUTE--\|--AZ-1

15-08-2003, 03:16 PM	#94
KittyKatSmack Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Australia Car: Mazda Posts: 3,961	That was the weird part, I got 6.2somthing or other and it called me a POSER which isn't even on the list.... hmmmpf! poser my ass! stick it's questions up it's bum! grumbles :wink:

15-08-2003, 03:22 PM	#95
KittyKatSmack Banned Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Australia Car: Mazda Posts: 3,961	I just did test again...... to check! 5.71992% - Poser It friggin cheats!!!!!!!

15-08-2003, 03:29 PM	#96
ABC Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Canberra Posts: 625 View Photos By: ABC	19.32939% for me! - Geek. At least I'm not as geekie as Dan! __________________ ABC - Andy 1996 Manual V6 Noble Green Hatch FS: $11,500 1992 Manual SOHC Red BG Hatch

15-08-2003, 05:07 PM	#97
Sandyman Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Newcastle Posts: 879	15.77909% - Geek i think that the LAN party option boosted my score a little. Andy, don't worry. He's been to that technical design school thingo(redefine for me here Dan). Plus he built a webpage in flash...(on that note, you nicked the software from work i am thinking Dan?) name 5 star trek characters! __________________ Vulnerant omnes, ultima necat. All of them wound, the last one kills.

15-08-2003, 06:36 PM	#99
mrpayner Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: -37.561609, 143.854814 Car: 2013 Mazda 6 GT Sedan - Soul Red Posts: 3,517 View Photos By: mrpayner	I think taking the test is a sure bet to geekiness... I scored 7.69231% - Poser anyway.. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a geek! Yay for me! AP __________________ 2013 Mazda6 Diesel GT ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[Formerly] 2004 Mazda6 Luxury Sport

15-08-2003, 06:56 PM	#100
SehnKhan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: . Car: . Posts: 1,789	Popular belief is a powerful thing :P

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