Joke page - Post ya jokes

[sik astina]

[color=#0000FFost_uid2]thought i start another one. *::

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A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at
work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home.

She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little
boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the
lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy -"$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again".[/colorost_uid2]

[MrShadow]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Oh, god, I've gotta chnage me reg grundies after that one, still laughing!! :laugh: :laugh:[/colorost_uid0]

[supergirl]

[color=#000080ost_uid0]Whats the definition of embarrassment?

Walking into a wall with a boner and hitting your nose! [/colorost_uid0]

[MrShadow]

[color=#810541ost_uid0]Hey, I do that all the time :: :O [/colorost_uid0]

[mrpayner]

:lol: This says it all!

Adam

[SehnKhan]

Hehe, good one Adam!

[Toyboy]

How good is your aim :lol:

http://195.92.224.73/j20/content/host.asp

Have fun :wink:

[JynX]

Walking into a wall with a boner and hitting your nose!

I wouldnt call it embarassing.... youd be pretty ashmed of the size of ur wang though.

I bet sandy gets it all the time.

[JynX]

41K on the piss game.

[Rupewrecht]

score: 61383

but thats pretty cool..well, amusing anyway :wink:

[MrShadow]

Love that copper one, teehee. Let you know on the aiming one...

[MrShadow]

63874, oh yeag, who's tha man?

MrShadow is THA MAN!

[mrpayner]

A listing of Masturbation terms for both boys and girls


For the Men:

abusing yourself
· answer the bone-a-phone
· batting practice
· beat off
· beating off
· beating the bishop
· beating the dummy
· being your own best friend
· blow your load
· bludgeon the beefsteak
· butter your corn
· calling down for more mayo
· calling all cum
· changing your oil
· charm the cobra
· choaking charlie 'till he throws up
· choke your chicken
· clean the pipes
· couch hockey for one
· crank the shank
· cranking
· cuff the carrot
· cuffing the puppy
· custer's last stand
· devil's handshake
· diddle
· dishonorable discharge
· doodle your noodle
· do the dew
· drain the vein
· dropping stomach pancakes
· feeding the ducks
· five against one
· five finger knuckle shuffle
· flute solo
· fondle the fig
· freeing willy
· giving yourself a hand
· ham shank
· hand job
· hands on training
· hand to gland combat
· hanging out with Rosie Palmer and her 5 sisters
· hit the ham
· holding all the cards
· holding your sausage hostage
· jackin' the beanstalk
· jerk off
· jerkin' the gherkin
· jerking off
· launching the hand shuttle
· leakin' the main drain
· loping your mule
· making soup
· making the bald guy puke
· manual override
· masonic secret self handshake
· massage your purple-headed warrior
· measuring for condoms
· meeting with Palmala Handerson
· oiling the pogo stick
· one handed clapping
· one man tug-o-war
· paddle the pickle
· playing with dick
· play the skin flute
· play the stand-up organ
· plunk your twanger
· polish the chrome dome
· popping the purple pimple
· pull the root
· pumping for pleasure
· punchin' the clown
· punch the porpoise
· ride the great white knuckler
· rolling the fleshy blunt
· seasonin' your meat
· self-love
· slap boxing the one-eyed champ
· slapping your meat
· sloppy joe's last stand
· spanking the monkey
· stroking it
· sturbing
· squeeze the cream from the flesh twinkie
· squeeze the weasle
· stroke your poker
· taking a shake break
· tenderize the meat
· tickle the elmo
· wacking off
· wank
· wanking
· whip your dripper
· whipping the one-eyed wonder weasle
· whizzin' jizzim
· wiggling your worm
· winding the jack in the box
· wrestling the eel
· yank my doodle (it's a dandy)
· yank off




Women



· 3 point shot
· a night in with the girls
· auditioning the finger puppets
· beating around the bush
· brushing the beaver
· carpet bumping
· checking for squirrels
· clam bake for one
· creamin'
· coming into your own
· dialing the rotary phone
· dousing the digits
· drilling for oil
· engaging in safe sex
· fanning the fur
· feeding the bearded clam
· fingerpainting
· flickin' the bean
· flit your clit
· frap
· gagging the clam
· get a date with slick mittens
· get to know yourself
· going mining
· groping the grotto
· greasing your hips
· grissle rub
· gusset typing
· hitchhiking south
· let the fingers do the walkin'
· manual override
· muffin buffin'
· nulling the void
· paddling the pink canoe
· pampering the pussy
· parting the red sea
· pearl fishing
· pet the pussy cat
· polishing the pearl
· play poker
· playing with her pineapple
· pussy soccer
· riding the unicycle
· rolling the dough
· rubbin' the nubbin
· soaking the whisker biscuit
· spelunking
· spearing the bearded clam
· squeeze the peach
· strumming the banjo
· surfing the channel
· teasing the tuna taco
· the virgin's release
· tickling the taco
· tiptoe through the twolips
· toggling the bit
· tossing pink salad
· trolling the bermuda triangle
· two finger taco tango
· washing your fingers


:lol: :lol:

Adam

[Sandyman]

Originally Posted by JynX

I wouldnt call it embarassing.... youd be pretty ashmed of the size of ur wang though.

I bet sandy gets it all the time.

There's the thing; unlike you(it seems), I have the intelligence to avoid walking into walls. If this happens to you, maybe it might be less embarrassing if you walk sideways.

[JynX]

In the event i may have that problem, ill consider it. But unlike little boyz who ride in mummys car, my wang hits first unfortunately.

[Sandyman]

the 'little boyz' part was a bit low there. could you *legally drive when you were 15 years of age? how the **** are you supposed to get places.

remind me: why did we start bitching to each other?

[SehnKhan]

15? Legally? At 15?

[JynX]

i have been driving a car since i was 12. Who cares about legalities. Thats what farms are for.

[Rupewrecht]

Originally Posted by JynX

my wang hits first unfortunately.

your computer hits first? why the hell do you carry it with you? :P

[JynX]

You call your computer wang? I know its a mac with flames n all that.... but really... Flaming piece of faeces is much more appropriate.

I know your attempting to imply im a geek... but just remind me who paraphrased monty python... i have heard rumours that its commonly referred to as the geek bible.