Should I give her a 2nd chance?

[project.r.racing]

If you really do like her, maybe hitting the reset button is in order?

I mean, start at the very start again. You to build trust again in her and for her to prove she is worth keeping around. Start at friends (dating) and build from there.

[sik astina]

As the saying goes....."Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me."

Nat

[Rupewrecht]

Originally Posted by project.r.racing

If you really do like her, maybe hitting the reset button is in order?

I mean, start at the very start again. You to build trust again in her and for her to prove she is worth keeping around. Start at friends (dating) and build from there.

Yeah, i'd agree with that. If there's something still there between you both, take some time, leave it a couple/few weeks, and see if there's anything still there. Trust does come back, but it takes time.

[bourbon]

youll still be in the puppy love stage so i wouldnt be taking what your heart thinks seriously...everything new is always exciting and lovable...

id hate to think what your goin through...to be honest if shes done it in a fresh relationship...imagin what will be done in a relationship after its been going for several years (if it gets to that long) and she is gettin a bit bored of the usual routine...

i dont think cheaters ever change...once theyve cheated they tend to like the thrill and excitement of trying not to get caught so they have to keep it up...

[chicaboo]

Originally Posted by bourbon

i dont think cheaters ever change...once theyve cheated they tend to like the thrill and excitement of trying not to get caught so they have to keep it up...

That's not true. Everyone has the potential to learn from their wrongs, and correct them by doing the right thing from then on. It may take a significant event to trigure this, or maybe it's something as simple as a pregnancy scare the first time. Responsibility is earned, not given out.

Gav.

[mill_mobile]

The more I think about it the more worked up I get...
I'm thinking a few weeks apart could be the done thing.
If I find she has been sleepin around in that time she can definitely get the hell on.

[marcs_sp20]

Originally Posted by bourbon

i dont think cheaters ever change...once theyve cheated they tend to like the thrill and excitement of trying not to get caught so they have to keep it up...

This happened with my ex, we were going out for 2 months, went back to her ex (from several relationships before me), I couldnt bare it and packed up her crap and moved on... 3 years later I have heard nothing but bad the same thing happening... and all for a thrill it seems.

If I were in your situation mill_mobile, I would break it off, still be civil to one another and move to QLD Ok maybe not the last suggestion, but you have to remember there are more fish in the sea

[mill_mobile]

Originally Posted by marcs_sp20

This happened with my ex, we were going out for 2 months, went back to her ex (from several relationships before me), I couldnt bare it and packed up her crap and moved on... 3 years later I have heard nothing but bad the same thing happening... and all for a thrill it seems.

If I were in your situation mill_mobile, I would break it off, still be civil to one another and move to QLD Ok maybe not the last suggestion, but you have to remember there are more fish in the sea

Oh ok, I have kinda been of the opinion of cheaters rarely change myself... It's just that I felt so comfortable round her and that.

Regarding the being civil comment, I haven't ended a relationship on bad terms before, but I can't say anything like this has happened to me before.
At the moment I'm more angry than anything, I don't know who at... Her, him, or for some reason maybe myself?

I wouldn't mind a move, QLD would be good, but i have work and everything down here, so I'd be going to nothing
I had thoughts of Noosa a few years back, but never pursued it.

[marcs_sp20]

Originally Posted by mill_mobile

Oh ok, I have kinda been of the opinion of cheaters rarely change myself... It's just that I felt so comfortable round her and that.

Regarding the being civil comment, I haven't ended a relationship on bad terms before, but I can't say anything like this has happened to me before.
At the moment I'm more angry than anything, I don't know who at... Her, him, or for some reason maybe myself?

I wouldn't mind a move, QLD would be good, but i have work and everything down here, so I'd be going to nothing
I had thoughts of Noosa a few years back, but never pursued it.

You have every right to feel uncomfortable, you have done nothing wrong to begin with. For one I wouldnt be taking it out on yourself, you seem like a pretty decent bloke.

Try and do a roll reversal, how would you feel if you did the dirty on her, would you want to date you? Do you think she has the means to do it again if the situation arised? I too asked myself the question years ago, and had to let her go (the ex), and now have the most loyal & trustworthy fiance I could ask for .

haha was only jokin about QLD, it'd be too hot for you up here

[mill_mobile]

Originally Posted by marcs_sp20

You have every right to feel uncomfortable, you have done nothing wrong to begin with. For one I wouldnt be taking it out on yourself, you seem like a pretty decent bloke.

Try and do a roll reversal, how would you feel if you did the dirty on her, would you want to date you? Do you think she has the means to do it again if the situation arised? I too asked myself the question years ago, and had to let her go (the ex), and now have the most loyal & trustworthy fiance I could ask for .

haha was only jokin about QLD, it'd be too hot for you up here

I dunno how I'd feel if I did it to her, as it's something I would NEVER think of doing to anyone.

Yeah, I knew you were joking Just thought I'd air that a change would be sweet!

See, it's all good that she can feel bad about what she did, but she still did it, and from the reply she gave me, she could have stopped it, but she didn't - I guess that is one thing that's playing on my mind, also, she let him in without any protection... What if she got knocked up? I guess some people do before they think.

It's just all stuffed up in my mind at the moment, having meetings at work isn't helping either... Can't concentrate

[70NYD]

dude there are worse things than getting knocked up that can lead from unprotected sex..
im very very sorry to hear what happend.
in my honnest opinion, and if it was me in that situation instead of you i would not give her another chance, just because if i did someting like that i would not want annother chance, that way atleast i could learn a lesson from it. trust CAN come back, but this incident will allways be there, as the saying goes forgive but not forget, and it can play on your mind for the rest of your relationship.
when it comes right down to it this is something that you need to decide for yourself, whats best for you and who is best for you. as marc said there are allways pleanty of other opportunities out there

i hope u make the right decision (one that is right for you that is)

[bourbon]

damn! im surprised no one said it earlier...issues in living in tassie, everyone that is potential to date is your related


now im only joking!!! id be staying away from her for at least a month and seeing how you go by yourself...

the relationship hasnt been going for long so you should be able to start feeling better in a few weeks...id be spending all the time i could be with mates...

[Orion]

Originally Posted by bourbon

id be staying away from her for at least a month and seeing how you go by yourself...

the relationship hasnt been going for long so you should be able to start feeling better in a few weeks...id be spending all the time i could be with mates...

I concur with taking some time away from the relationship. You might not be in the best frame of mind right and that could result in a rash decision either way. If you swaying back and forth between whether or not to take her back, then a bit more time will help to solidify which way you want to go.

The other thing about taking some time out is it will show you how much she wants the relationship. If she isnt making every effort to keep in contact and assure you that it was a stupid error in judgement on her part then you know that she's probably not someone that you want to hold on to.

My 2 cents. All the best with it.

[mill_mobile]

Thanks again everyone, you rock.
I know getting knocked up isn't the wordt thing that can happen, I guess it was just the first thing that came to mind.

I plan on spending time with mates, am doing that tonight

Just sucks my BEST mate is away till after New Years

[chicaboo]

Oh well, you will just have to settle for the company of your 2nd, 3rd and 4th best mates.

[bourbon]

tell her to contact you in a month and to leave you alone for a month! else it will take longer for you to decide what you need to do

[woofy]

I think she told you cause she got the guilts and knew it was going to come out at the party with the same guy anyway. Move on nothing to see here anymore...

[mill_mobile]

I was gunna try and be technical and double-quote, but didnt know how...
Gav, yup, they will do!
And Bourbs... I'm still making my mind up on how I'm gunna go about this... I think I'll send her a long email tonight outlining exactly how I'm feeling and my issues with this whole thing.
I had a message before from her saying that [this is an extract from the message]:
Take as long as you need to think, I don't want to rush you at all. Just let me know whenever your ready to talk, I don't mind how long that's going to take.

[Astinadroxycuts]

Hit a strip joint usually helps

If their was no Dom used Id drop her instantly Because if she never told you what she had done on that night You could be exposed to Infections ect ect catch my drift?

That a risk my friend

I hope you know where i am coming from hard to explain really

She could of risked your personal health

anyways take care buddy hope all is good

[Ghoru]

mate i know for a fact that if my wife pulled a stunt like that she would wanna be hoofin' it pretty damn quick and vice versa 2 months in and she is playing sausage wallet to some other guy without a raincoat. and i feel for you mate, if i was you and i went to that party i wouldnt even need a drink to king hit him. yeh she told you about it but the negatives far outweigh the positives. and im sure if you were d**king some other chick she would have set your nuts on fire by now.